COPY CAT *
(A full length play)
by DIPO KALEJAIYE.
Excerpt from ACT 1 Sc.3
LULA: Oh! the devil in your eyes again. I ain't gon' say no more.
LULA: I said I ain't gon' say no more.
LULA: That ain't none of your business.
LULA: Get away from me LeRoy. I said it ain't none of your business.
LULA: I ain't got no Indian in me.
LULA: I said get away from me, Roy. You don lost your mind?
LULA: I ain't saying. . .
LULA: Well. . . I was too busy all the time taking care of Miss Elsie.
LULA: I can take care of myself. I don't need no man.
LULA: Well. . . let me see. . . I had a boyfriend.
LULA: Jamal Johnson.
LULA: I know that.
Miss Elsie was living in
black. . . I mean jet black. He had muscles like John Henry. He had muscles that will put a. . . sledge hammer to shame. Old Henry . . . yes, that's what I used to say. . . I used to call him Old John Henry. Well. . . his friends called him JJ.
JJ. Ain't no
was really nice. He used to spoil
me. He would buy me gifts three times a
LULA: Yes, that's where he moved to, but I ain't finished my story about how come we ain't together no more.
LULA: (pouring drinks) Here, drink this. It ain't whiskey.
ROY: That's okay, Lula. Thanks, soda is fine.
LULA: (drinks from her glass) So one day I let him in, like I normally did, around He just got off work. He wanted to see me. I had to go take care of dinner for Miss Elsie. That was a lot of work just getting dinner ready for Miss Elsie. And heck, I got to wait on her. It would take her 2 hours to finish dinner. She loved chicken soup. I had to make chicken soup every day fresh, right from scratch. She used to say chicken soup was medicine. That it could cure any illness. Well, I finished with Miss Elsie that evening, and it was getting up on . Miss Elsie went to bed every night at . I got back to my room, and I thought I was looking at hell.
LULA: Yes. There was Jamal Johnson all dressed up in my clothes, with lipstick and earrings on. He even put on my powder that was on the dresser. I thought I was about to die! My stomach turned, I was about to throw up.
LULA: I don't know anything about all that trans. . . . whatever you call it. Well, he apologized and began to take my clothes off, telling me he got something to tell me. I was standing by the door, I wasn't gon' go near him looking like that. I stood by the door. He kept apologizing, saying he got something to tell me--that he's been in love with women's clothes since he was nine years old. He said women’s clothes just really turned him on. I just stood there shaking my head. All I could say was "Lord have mercy." It was all that came out of my mouth; "Lord have mercy." Then he said, "Don't just stand there saying "Lord have mercy." I said I've got something to tell you." And all I could say was
ROY & LULA: (in unison) "Lord have mercy." (They burst out laughing.)
LULA: Then he said the reason he ain't never made love to me was because he was homosexual.
LULA: That's what he said Roy, and again all I could say was
ROY and LULA: Lord have mercy!
he was standing there telling me, "Can't we still be friends?" I said honey, ain't no way in the world we
gon get married now. How am I gon' walk
up the aisle at
ROY & LULA:"Lord have mercy." (Laughter as before)
LULA: Then he said he really liked me. . . as a friend that is. . . but that he is still em. . . that he was still. . .
LULA: Yes, gay. That if he can't be friends with me. . . I'm really going to break his heart. He even said I was like his mother. Then I said again. . .
ROY and LULA: Lord have mercy.
* First performed at The Black Repertory Theatre,